Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Holding On

I have been thinking about the idea of enduring and "enduring well" the past little bit.

Especially the last five minutes as my two-year-old has been screaming, "Geh 'side! Geh 'side". Which translates to "Go outside!" for those of you with no pint-size guys around.

It is raining and I am saying no. We have friends over and it is a half hour before the kindergartener needs to get on the bus.

Not a good time to get soaking wet.
No way.

Ergo, the screaming.
But I was thinking about this before the temper tantrum.

I was thinking about the theme of my life right now and the life of my main-character in my current Work-In-Progess (WIP).

And a lot of it is "Hold On", "Keep Going", "It will be okay. You are not alone and you can make it."

Me, right now, that encompasses keeping myself and the kids semi-mentally balanced as we miss Daddy horribly (Arkansas is really far away from Virginia), try to cope with the emotions of moving away from dear, dear friends, pack up our belongings and (for me) deal with a boatload of paperwork.
And keep writing in my book, (my sanity/happiness saver).

And in the book, my character is struggling with responsibilities that are unfamiliar and sometimes overwhelming, trying to make the right choices and second -guessing herself all the while feeling alone, quasi-abandoned by her loved ones.

Huh, interesting.

I have to say in all honesty that this book was started before unemployment, months-long job search and temporary poverty descended.
*remembering* Boy, was it awful at times. Ugh! Least said, the better.

Our 'reversal of fortune' has now been reversed. The mountainous waves that threaten to swamp our little family have shrunk to only large swells. Another month and we'll be reunited.
In a two or three months, we will be settled in another community, finding our way around, developing new friendships. True, there will be an ache that will flare-up at times, remembering our friends and the wonderful years in this valley. We will feel this loss again.

But this year, this wonderful, terrible year, has made me strong. It has shown me how deep I can go and still come back up, unscathed. It has made my marriage rich and my husband a greater man in my eyes. It has opened me to my God in all my vulnerability and sorrow and he has covered me in his love as thick as one of those expensive down comforters I will never be able to afford.

And as for my story, this year has given me well-flavored stock I've been adding to the thin soup it was before.

So, hard times....absolutely stink!

But, boy do they give good copy!

Perfer et obdura, dolar hic tibi proderit olim.

And for your listening pleasure:

TobyMac's "Hold On"

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