Thursday, October 18, 2012
I am sooooo very excited to attend a SCBWI (Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators) Conference in Virginia this weekend. I've swung rapidly between excitement and nervousness, between the exultation of four carefree days and the stress of compiling lists for my husband and kiddos for while I'm gone. I've packed (mostly) and prepped and worried that I've forgotten something.
Then this morning, as I was chivying the boys out to the van, one stopped and spread his arms. "Mom, can I just get one last hug?"
And it hit me again, how even though I am so thrilled by my writing and the journey to become a published author and get my stories out there.... to my family, I'm just Mom. Not really 'just' either. I'm the center that the world revolves around. I'm the Sun that pulls them in and keeps them close. I know who likes which veggies and the favorite snacks to stock in the cupboard. I know who loves back scratches best and who likes long talks and who wants just to snuggle.
I am MOM. And I had forgotten how scary having Mom away for even a couple of days can be kinda freaky. Compound that with my absence so much of September as I was in the hospital with my 10-year-old. Home life was just starting to kick back into normal routine and now I'm leaving!?!
That hug (and the avalanche of hugs that followed) this morning reminded me that though writing and telling stories brings me joy, I am a Mom first. That is my calling for now and eternity. No matter what happens with agents and publishers, I will always be a storyteller. That's how I connect with people. I love hearing stories. I love telling stories.
But, the most important story is MY story. The story about me and how I found the most perfect man almost fifteen years ago. How he swept me off my feet with the cha-cha and a waltz and how I couldn't forget him even when a thousand miles separated us. How he proposed with a diamond that was smaller than he wanted, but which had clearer color and no flaws. A diamond that represented the purity and goodness he saw within me.
That story winds from Michigan to Ohio to Virginia to Arkansas. We have added wonderful characters to our story, the most important characters being:
A square-headed lad who is passionate about designing and building and so very tender-hearted. I love this guy! Couldn't ask for a better "big brother".
A sharp-eyed fellow who wants to suck the marrow out of life and cannot stand the boring moments. An epic adventurer (as long as there is no more pain involved). Can't wait to see what he does with life.
An enthusiastic hot-head with a mischievous grin, who just cannot stay out of trouble. How many angry and repentant tears have I wiped from this fellow's eyes! He melts my heart everyday.
A funny little guy who wants to be just as amazing and smart as his brothers, yet purposefully goes another direction, because he knows exactly what he wants. Such a great kid!
An adorable cutie who seems to wrap the entire family around his finger. He is the most agreeable kid, and is willing to help anybody who asks.
Wow! I am so blessed! I have been looking forward to a few days away from the Loken brand of Chaos. But I have to say, I will 'Hurry Home' to my little agents of entropy when this weekend is over.
Love you guys!!
Amelia a.k.a. 'Mom'