This weekend, I have had one thought that I have continued to come back to again and again. How do I find BALANCE? It was a question I took with me to a series of meetings in which church leaders encouraged us with many good things that we should do.
It would have been easy to become overwhelmed with all the many responsibilities I have as a wife, mother, friend, sister, leader in the church children's program. In fact there have been many times I have become overwhelmed. As soon as the most pressing problems have been taken care of, I've "shut down". I'll escape within a book, retreat within my writing, or find self-soothing within the melody of a song. None of these are bad, in fact they are all good...if not done to excess.
But I have gone overboard with all of these at one point or another and it is easy to slip away and want to stay away.
I am grateful for the images in this video. Many of them are thought provoking to me. The one I identify most with is the mom on the computer, looking up and noticing her kids are playing in the rain. By the end, there is a glimpse of her out in the rain with her children.
This image flashed in my mind as I sat, listening this weekend and taking notes. It knew the answer to my question. I probably knew it before this weekend. I need to be sure that the good things in my life, do not steal away the wonderful, precious moments of my life. I don't want to just remember the weddings and other big events. I want to remember the pillow fights. I want to remember running in the rain. I want to remember the excitement on my son's face as he swings or slides or crosses the monkey bars for the first time.
I want to be available emotionally as well as physically when a boy comes in with a scraped up knee. I want to be truly listening when my middle schooler's voice trembles as he says his day was fine, then says, "Well, actually, it wasn't all that fine. In fact it was terrible!" I want to cheer when a loose tooth comes out. I want to sympathize when the favorite Lego guy is lost. (Though I do wish it didn't happen nearly so often as it does!) I want to have enough patience to hear the whole convoluted robot fantasy story my five year old's told over dinner while the older brothers sigh.
I want to be a writer, a REAL writer so badly. But sometimes, I sacrifice my special moments of motherhood for that writer. Its been weighing on me enough that I know, I've become unbalanced. I'm glad I listened this weekend. I've got a bunch of really good pointers. And I was able to hear the advice "between the lines", that were filled in by my inner self, now that I've been quiet enough to listen.
In life there are Good, Better and Best. I'm grateful to be reminded what the best things are. And I am equally grateful that God has given me talent and time to develop it right now in this season of my life. If I am disciplined, I can have hours a day working on my writing craft, and still have the time I need with my family.
This is my Zen-like "Aha!" Moment. If any are listening in, fine. If not, that's okay because I just had a wonderful conversation with myself. :)