I have really enjoyed listening to this song the last few months. It has been a beautiful description of the push and pull I have (and maybe you do too) with my inner and outer person.
How many times have I felt loved and secure and beautiful? I love it when I am in that place and I am comfortable and HAPPY!
Then life and my own choices (and the choices of others) lead me to where I question myself, my worth, my strength, God's strength...
But when I remember, when I can recall the love, the warmth, the 'sunlight burning at midnight' that he has brought into my life over, and over, and over again...then I can smile through the tears. I can feel that warm despite the cold place I may be in at the moment. I can remember his love, even when I feel unlovable.
One Family Home Evening, I was desperate for a lesson and came up with a quick spiritual thought to go along with our treat for the evening. I think it was when I was on my own and Mark was in Arkansas. I had picked up some OREO's at the store that day (needing my chocolate fix) and I used the cookies for our object lesson in FHE. I described our dual nature to the boys-our good, creamy, sweet inner spirit that is within a crunchy, dark and sometimes not as sweet outside.
We had had some conflict over the days preceding that lesson and I wanted to make sure my sons knew that I loved them and Heavenly Father loved them, even while feeling regret for their misbehavior and naughtiness. I even was able to quote the scripture about the 'natural man is an enemy to God and has been forever.' But reassured them that God wanted the sweet nature that was inside each of them to overcome the 'dark side' that gave into temptation. The mention of conflict was good. The boys went off on various versions they had seen of good vs. evil they were familiar with.
The half hour of talk and slurping milk with OREO's seemed to work that night.
But just yesterday, Joseph came up to me and started talking about something that he had done that wasn't so good. He didn't want to get in trouble, and he was trying to paint himself in the best light. He said with a wry twist of his mouth, "It was just my dark, crunchy side doing it. I didn't really want to."
"Your dark crunchy side, huh?"
"Yeah, sometimes I get kinda dark and crunchy like the cookies. But I like the yummy middle part too. Can we have some of those cookies again?"
Yep, that was him changing the subject. I wondered if it was artful contrivance or just a short attention span. Probably the latter, but needless to say, he wasn't in nearly as much trouble as he was going to be.
So, the moral of my ramblings? Remember that you are a delightful, sweet and creamy, darling child of God, even when you feel like the waterlogged piano in the music video or a dark, crunchy OREO with not a glass of milk in sight. He loves you so much and he thinks you are BEAUTIFUL. And you are.